Healthy Brews

At last. Amidst all the kvetching, quailing, bailing and wailing that passes for commentary around here, once in a long while we feel obligated to spread a little bit of the Good News. (Spoiler alert: if you arrived here looking for baby-jesus-good-newses, there's no real reason to continue). To wit:

Seems that a new study by some of those scientific types confirms what any moderately balanced person already knows: alcohol and coffee go together splendidly. Not just in the many delicious varieties of hot toddy, but in that weirdly bilious / delicious organ known as one's liver. That is to say, alcohol and coffee go together to make you a better person.

Literally.

See, it turns out that each cup of coffee you drink today will decrease your chance of developing alcohol-related liver damage by 22%. This means that the editorial board of the Swill has, in addition to a pointed and well-publicized regard for Old Style beer, a minus-1076% chance of developing cirrhosis over the course of our lifetimes. We drink so much coffee we're pretty much a walking fucking antidote to liver disease.

Yep. If it weren't for the fact that the country is lousy with dumbfucks, we'd be tempted to find in these results the first glimmering evidence of Intelligent Design.